I told her.
Although I had fears that she might judge me - I didn’t expect any judgments from her.
And I was right.
She listened quietly. Without judgment. The hot and prickly feeling faded a bit.
Finally, someone else knew that he raped me.
I knew it was a crime. I believed the only way to get help was to call the police.
But he wasn’t who I thought a rapist would be.
He was someone I was dating and the assault completely caught me off guard. I cared about him. He was very remorseful. And I was just as confused about my choice to continue dating him after the assault.
It left me feeling very anxious, shamed, and humiliated.
But I also knew that I didn’t want to go to the police.
Now I wish someone had told me that I could go to a women’s centre, or get some other help without reporting the assault.
Part of my healing was telling someone what happened, even though it was really hard to do.
There are women who came before me who paved for me the way to get the help I needed to heal – by sharing their stories and speaking out against sexual assault.
I am now one of those women.
I am strong. I am resilient. I believe in myself.